Sunday, March 21, 2010

So DONE

I can't WAIT to live in a NORMAL place where:

1. I can buy yarn whenever I want. Not only that, but to live in a place where if the one Mom and Pop yarn store is closed, I can go to JOANNE FABRICS or MICHAEL'S on a Monday at 9:00 a.m. and they will be OPEN for me to buy yarn.

2. Recycling isn't such a pain in the ASS! Where I won't have to have 7,000 recycling bins in my pantry and cardboard boxes from Amazon.com won't take over my life ANY MORE!! Where my good intentions are rewarded with big recycling bins that the city will provide for me to throw all of my recycleables in and then provide me with the courtesy of paying somebody to take it all away for me.

3. I will have multiple choices of places to go grocery shopping. Where I won't be forced to shop at Walmart, a commissary the size of a shoe box, and the most expensive Safeway in the world.

4. Any grocery store will have EVERYTHING I need and it will all be fresh, edible and not have an "expires on" date of 2 days ago.

5. I can drive through town and not cringe and then want to go home and sanitize myself.

6. The best restaurant in town is not Subway.

7. I can shop at fabric stores that have more than just cotton quilting fabric and actually have (GASP!) PATTERNS!!

8. If I do happen to crave snow, I can DRIVE to it and enjoy it from the comfort of a 5 star ski resort with a spa, casino and bar.

9. My son will wear out his sneakers before he grows out of them. Where I won't buy him new sneakers only for him to wear them 2 times before the rain and snow come and he's forced to wear boots for the next 9 months straight.

10. The expression "7 degrees of seperation" is true and not "2 degrees of seperation".

3 comments:

Marian said...

Oh, you make me laugh Emily!

queenbee said...

Ok, time for a new blog post. Chop chop Mrs. Garris: your fans await!

Anonymous said...

I think it is sad that you had the privilege of living in one of the most beautiful and unique places in the world and this is what you got out of it. I suppose you are trying to be tongue-in-cheek here, but you clearly missed out on all that is great about living in Kodiak.